I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Randomize
