I love black thongs
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Randomize
