I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I need to align my fucking chakras
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
