God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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