What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
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