she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Randomize
