I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize
