Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
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