just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
