remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
