You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
