Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
