her vagine was all disorganized.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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