and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Church boner. Awkwardddd
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
