I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
