dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Randomize
