I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
cat food counts as protein by the way
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
She made me pour olive oil on her.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
