I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
What drink are we having for lunch?
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Oh god it's open bar.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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