How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
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