No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
