Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
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