I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Randomize