there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
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