what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Randomize
