i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Randomize
