so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
of course. lets lasso hookers.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Randomize
