The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
