She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
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