No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
