Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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