oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
