i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
