I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
