soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
