It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Success! We fucked roommates!
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
