His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
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