they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
