Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
i dont even know how to be here
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
BRING THE BAGELS
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
