remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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