the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
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