i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
