Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
