Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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