margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Randomize
