Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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