your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
