I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
