Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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