It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
