bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
