In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
