Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
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