either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
