woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
