Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
