Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
send nudes
from the living room?
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
