the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
