I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
zippers are such a cool invention
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
