hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Randomize
